Here are some features I'm looking for.
-Ugly
-Covered in stickers telling me how great the internal parts and software are.
-No way to learn how to use the included software.
-I'd like to pretend to be an IT person and install tons of virus protection software.
-I'd like to see a few billion "helpful" pop-up windows.
-I might need conficker...
-Cheap plastic enclosure please.
-I'd like every piece of software to live in it's own little island of design, sharing no common interface ideas or sharing data.
-I don't want to be cool.
-I am not a member of the screen actors guild.
